Apples In Stereo, Arlo, Ben Folds Five, Bettie Serveert, Big Sandy + his Fly-Rite Boys, Boy Eats Drum Machine, Brave Combo, Country Teasers, Cowboy Junkies, Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci, Jive Bombers, Joe Maphis, Marshall Crenshaw, Moonbuggy, Nevada Bachelors, Nirvana, Phish, Photon Band, Pinback, Playlists, The Beatles, The Dickies, The English Beat, The Gladiators, The High Llamas, The Minders, The Mountain Goats, The Raging Teens, The Shake, The Sharp Ease, The Squirrels, Those Peabodys, Trespassers W, Ween
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Asylum Street Spankers, Atomic 7, Bright Eyes, Butch Thompson, Collective Soul, Dan The Automator / Dean Martin, Enchanters, Esquivel, Frantic Flintsones, Goldfinger, Harry Connick Jr., Jaymz Bee + the Royal Jelly Orchestra, Los Straitjackets, Low, Melissa Manchester, Miss Frenchie, New Gravity, Playlists, Ringo Starr, Roberto Perera, Spinal Tap, The Blue Hawaiians, The Brian Setzer Orchestra, The LeeVees, Vic Chesnutt
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Greetings loyal listener(s)! In anticipation of the upcoming barrage of nonstop auditory Xmassery, I have prepared an antidote: Awesome Xmas 2008. Twenty shiny AAC files (compatible with your iTunes and iPod), wrapped up in fancy tartan .zip and presented with a nod to Boogie Nights as a bow. It goes offline after the holidays, so download yours today!

Awesome Xmas 2008 (70 MB) This download is no longer available

Adam Elk, Armando Trovalo, Asylum Street Spankers, Bodenstandig 2000, Brian Ritchie, Dandy Warhols, Deathray, Don Drummond, hollAnd, Holly Golightly, Hot Butter, Kim Lenz + her Jaguars, King Kong, Kinks, Lung Leg, Mayor McCa, Peggen, Playlists, Presets, Ray Wonder, Rilo Kiley, Rocket From The Crypt, Skinnys 21, Sloan, Smoking Popes, Speedy West + Jimmy Bryant, Stump, Sugarman 3, Super Chikan, The Grates, The Mondo Crescendo, The Police, Ursula 1000, White Hassle
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A.H. Campbell wants Luftwaffles for breakfast

Heath Campbell wonders why it’s so difficult to purchase an inscribed birthday cake for his adorable toddler, pictured at right. It’s hard to figure out which is more disturbing: That someone named their child “Adolf Hitler,” that a newspaper devoted the equivalent of five web pages for the story, or that I read all five. At least I can justify that last one, by extracting the one useful-to-everyone nugget from the article:

According to research cited by Discover Magazine in their “Top 100 Science Stories of the Year” (this one was #58), being able to keep a steady beat correlates to your IQ:

Drum Tech Nightmare No. 459, courtesy of Drum + Drummer

Investigators from Karolinska Institute in Stockholm and Umeå University asked 30 men recruited from the general population to listen to the steady clonk of a sampled cowbell [MORE COWBELL! -Ed.] and then tap out the same plain beat on a drum pad. The test was repeated at seven different tempos, and the results were then compared with the recruits’ IQ scores. Although the subjects’ deviations from the test rhythm were too subtle to be detected by the ear, the study found that the subjects with the highest IQs kept closest to the beat.

By now, I’m immediately skeptical about any claim that starts with “research shows” but I can see some sense in this one, given their explanation. The theory is that this ability comes from better wiring in the brain, so to speak. The all-too-brief article also raises the point of making a distinction between testing higher cognitive processes (which is what just about every intelligence test does) and figuring out what’s happening in the machinery basement. It’s like trying to figure out how much of a Grand Prix winner’s victory is due to the driver, and how much is due to the car. Tough problem.

I’ll also point out that this research took place in Sweden, which my personal recollection tells me has one of the highest good-band-per-capita ratios in the planet (New Zealand tops my list). Go ahead and argue with me about it in the comments.

“Do you know where I’m coming from? Go ahead. Bang the drum.” —Railroad Jerk

1990s, Animal Collective, Asylum Street Spankers, Boogie Balagan, Casper Fandango, David Hillyard + the Rocksteady 7, Die Moulinettes / Stereo Total, Don Tiki, Downtown Harvest, Drink Me, Flat Duo Jets, Grateful Dead, Herb Alpert, Les Hommes, Minisnap, Money Mark, NOMO, Playlists, Quasi, Slowrunner, Soft Boys, T. Rex, Ted Leo, The Clash, The Graves, The Pinker Tones, Thee Oh Sees, Torpedo Boyz, Tullycraft
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Arthur + Yu, Atomic 7, Au, B. Fleischman, Ben Kweller, Big Sandy + his Fly-Rite Boys, Bodenstandig 3000, Bongwater, Cagnee + Lacey, Cass McCombs, Chow Nasty, Cibo Matto, Drink Me, Flight of the Conchords, Galactic, Gosling, Gramme, Habiluim, Heavy Trash, Hefner, Jason Trachtenberg, Lily Allen, Pinback, Playlists, Positive K, Sir Millard Mulch, Split Enz, Tenor Saw, The Avett Brothers, The Mommyheads, Tim Armstrong, Venice Shoreline Chris
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So I found out about the release of Snakes N’ Barrels’ — I mean, Guns N’ Roses’ — I mean, Axl Rose’s — Chinese Democracy the same way I find out about any GNR news: by Axl Rose gaining the media’s attention by being a complete tool.

I’d figured the release of this album had been relegated to the Escathon, and if Mr. Rose were smart (obviously, he isn’t), he would have delayed the release of this oeuvre to the point where it’s posthumous, with perhaps something about having the first copy shot out of a cannon from the Sunset Strip specified in his will. Then he could concentrate on accelerating its release by being the self-destructive Axl we know and adore/despise, instead of tweaking knobs and adjusting reverb until that particular turd was polished smooth.

It happens all the time: anticipation for a delayed release builds up to a certain point, after which it becomes a joke. Then it’s like waiting for your dinner, and irritation and hunger overtake any pleasure that may be gained by an incremental degree of “perfection.” I’m reminded of the Stone Roses, who triumphed in a bidding war in the late ’80s, only to spin their wheels in the studio for a couple of years and a lackluster album. The importance of anticipation, and meeting those expectations, was way overblown in their (and I suppose Axl’s) head. The Beach Boys’ Smile is another album that comes to mind. Although the quality of that is far superior than anything that these Roses could have put out, by the time it was released its importance was based more on its role as a historical document and legend-made-real than as an actual collection of songs.

As much as I love music, I’ll be the first to admit it’s a consumable, disposable artform. You can’t deliberately create a work of genius. If it isn’t in you, it’s not coming out of you. Everything can be improved, but the law of diminishing returns applies as brutally (if not most brutally) to albums like Chinese Democracy.

In a way, I’m disappointed that this album is out. It provided such rich fodder for jokes. Axl, please start work on your next album, The Dr. Pepper Fiasco, now.