So I found out about the release of Snakes N’ Barrels’ — I mean, Guns N’ Roses’ — I mean, Axl Rose’s — Chinese Democracy the same way I find out about any GNR news: by Axl Rose gaining the media’s attention by being a complete tool.

I’d figured the release of this album had been relegated to the Escathon, and if Mr. Rose were smart (obviously, he isn’t), he would have delayed the release of this oeuvre to the point where it’s posthumous, with perhaps something about having the first copy shot out of a cannon from the Sunset Strip specified in his will. Then he could concentrate on accelerating its release by being the self-destructive Axl we know and adore/despise, instead of tweaking knobs and adjusting reverb until that particular turd was polished smooth.

It happens all the time: anticipation for a delayed release builds up to a certain point, after which it becomes a joke. Then it’s like waiting for your dinner, and irritation and hunger overtake any pleasure that may be gained by an incremental degree of “perfection.” I’m reminded of the Stone Roses, who triumphed in a bidding war in the late ’80s, only to spin their wheels in the studio for a couple of years and a lackluster album. The importance of anticipation, and meeting those expectations, was way overblown in their (and I suppose Axl’s) head. The Beach Boys’ Smile is another album that comes to mind. Although the quality of that is far superior than anything that these Roses could have put out, by the time it was released its importance was based more on its role as a historical document and legend-made-real than as an actual collection of songs.

As much as I love music, I’ll be the first to admit it’s a consumable, disposable artform. You can’t deliberately create a work of genius. If it isn’t in you, it’s not coming out of you. Everything can be improved, but the law of diminishing returns applies as brutally (if not most brutally) to albums like Chinese Democracy.

In a way, I’m disappointed that this album is out. It provided such rich fodder for jokes. Axl, please start work on your next album, The Dr. Pepper Fiasco, now.